


Stupid Goddamn Hammock

by ceralynn



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-13
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2018-03-12 04:25:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3343595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceralynn/pseuds/ceralynn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mac and Dennis' sleeping situation is compromised.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid Goddamn Hammock

Mac lets out a strangled noise of pain as 156 pounds of Dennis crashes down on him from above. He doesn't realise that's what it is at first, but it's the middle of the night, and the only thing that can conceivably fall on him is his roommate, who only minutes ago was precariously suspended above him in a (faulty, apparently) hammock.

Dennis has been jostled awake too, apparently, as Mac feels him adjusting himself and.. burying his face in Mac's neck? Mac opens his eyes, confirming it visually: Dennis is, indeed, curling up on him like a cat.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

The response comes out muffled into his skin. "Sleeping."

"This is not the time to sleep, dude. Fix your hammock."

Dennis lifts his head, fixing Mac with a surprisingly intense glare for someone supposedly still half-asleep.

"It's three o'clock in the goddamn morning, Mac," he hisses. "I'm not waking myself up to fix a stupid hammock that's probably broken now anyway."

"Bro, it just seems—"

"Gay?" Dennis finishes for him. "Please, Mac. This isn't about choice, it's about convenience. This is a problem to deal with in the morning, alright? You're just doing me a solid here, sleeping-situation-wise."

Dennis lays back down, replacing his face against Mac's neck and settling back down onto his body as he goes on.  
"Just helping me out of a jam."

Mac accepts the logic perhaps too easily, too happily, but he tries to at least seem quizzical of it, waiting a full five seconds before wrapping his arms around Dennis' waist, pulling him closer and shutting his eyes.

\--

"Stupid goddamn hammock," Dennis bitches over his coffee the next morning. Dee eyes both him and Mac suspiciously over her toast.

"So you're telling me it broke?"

"I don't know what happened to it, Dee," he snaps. "I know that I went to sleep peacefully in a perfectly good hammock and I woke up in the morning sleeping, instead, on top of my roommate."

He takes a long sip of his coffee before continuing.

"So let's cut all of this cutesy, 'Mac and Dennis sleep together' bullshit. Because that isn't what we chose to do and you know it."

Dee wants to shoot back some insult about how gay they are, maybe some genuine comment about their closeness, but the look in her brother's eye is too familiar, too similar to the one he gave her in that psychiatrist's office and she simply returns her attention to her toast.

Mac says nothing, just wondering when exactly Dennis will get to fixing that goddamn hammock.

\--

The day is busy and eventful and by the end of it, all any of them want to do is sleep it off. Dee retires to her room, Mac gets into his sleeping bag, and some minutes later, a half-naked Dennis tries to crawl in with him.

"Dude, what the hell are you doing?!"

"Would you keep your voice down?" Dennis snaps through gritted teeth. "I'm tired, alright? I've had a long day, I just wanna sleep."

"So put up the—"

"I'm not putting up the goddamn hammock!!"

Dennis stops, taking a moment to compose himself.

"I am not putting up the goddamn hammock," he repeats, quieter. "Just let me get into the sleeping bag with you."

"..can you at least put on some clothes?"

Dennis smiles, giving a soft laugh like Mac's asked him where babies come from. "No, man, don't be silly," he starts. "See, listen, I don't normally sleep in clothes anyway. But now, dude, it's so cold. We've got to be sharing body heat. And that's best done with skin to skin contact."

Mac doesn't fully understand the logic, doesn't even ask for an explanation, just accepts it and nods, again trying to appear discerning.

"Honestly, bro, you should probably be naked, too."

"We should both be naked," Mac agrees matter-of-factly, sitting up and starting to pull his shirt off.

\--

"So, about last night," Dee begins with her back to them, rinsing off dishes in the sink after breakfast.

Mac and Dennis both furrow their brows in unison, exchange confused looks. "Last night?"

"Yeah, listen." She sets a dish down, turns to them. "I get it, this is a big adjustment and all, but if you're gonna bang, don't do it when I'm in the house."

Mac and Dennis say nothing, jaws hanging open while Dee speaks.

"Especially when I'm sleeping, I mean, Jesus, I don't want to wake up to that."

"What.." Dennis stops, touches his mouth in his anxious way, brings his hand back down to the table. "What in God's name are you talking about?"

"I caught you two naked in the sleeping bag this morning," she explains, turning back to her dishes. "I mean, it was cute, just do it while I'm not here."

Mac and Dennis exchange looks again, this time of pure horror, and as Mac launches into a staunch defense of the heterosexuality of their lifestyle and choices, Dennis simply holds his head in his hands.

God, do they need their own apartment.

\--


End file.
